:) (> Mike's Struggle <) (:

The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com

Text between Amanda Makar and Michael Granata about Lilly Makar. 9/6/16 to 11/11/16

These are text to my ex, Amanda Makar of Latrobe, to talk to or see my daughter, Lilly Makar, from me Michael Granata. Amanda Makar will not even respond now. … Continue reading

November 20, 2016 · 2 Comments

Journal (Numb) 11/17/2016

“The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don’t always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad … Continue reading

November 14, 2016 · Leave a comment

A Halloween card for Lilly (2016)

I seen that Walmart had Halloween cards. I never even known that card companies even made cards for Halloween. So I bought one for my daughter Lilly Makar. God do … Continue reading

November 1, 2016 · 2 Comments

Journal 10/23/16

I have been feeling lazy with my time off from life plan.  And things have been kind of slowed down and gotten less crazy, which makes me wounder, if being … Continue reading

October 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Ugly 10.12.16

I got some issues that no one sees. I often wounder if i cut to be ugly Or to cover up the ugly Why do I feel Ugly in the … Continue reading

October 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Journal 10/12/16

Idk Is what to say. I am sober and don’t like it. The thoughts, the voices, the I need to run feeling. I feeling of not feeling right in your … Continue reading

October 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Music 10/11/16

I am smoking and listening to music. “Let the bent screwdriver always fall in favor of My “not my drug dealer””. Mike G Blaaaaaahh ha haha ha .https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sCaq027JTGI &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For … Continue reading

October 11, 2016 · Leave a comment

My Chestnut Ridge Counseling Services Complaint – Journal

10/10/16 I could tell you how great the nurse that does the 305 stff is. She listened to me rant for like 30 minutes. She was compassionate and caring. Then … Continue reading

October 10, 2016 · Leave a comment

A new video to my daughter Lilly Makar 9/10/16

I make these videos so my daughter Lilly MaKar can hear my voice one day and know not just by text but by voice how much I miss her. &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& … Continue reading

October 10, 2016 · Leave a comment

I want to see the world burn 10/9/16

I most of the time have a candle burning by me. Most people that know me, which is like no one, that I would like to see the world burn. … Continue reading

October 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

10/9/2016 A new I miss you Lilly Card

I bought a new miss you card, wrote in it and decorated it in minions for Lilly Makar. I keep fooling myself that she gets them Will be mailed out … Continue reading

October 9, 2016 · 2 Comments

Self Harm / Cutting / Burning

                        &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! Posted By: Michael J Granata Contact: 724-383-6008 (Google Voice) MichaelJGranata@gmail.com Express written permission … Continue reading

October 6, 2016 · Leave a comment

Youngwood Internal Medicine: Dr Steven Mills Refused to treat me because of my mental illness

Update 10/6/16 They again refused me and my pain both from the accident and no accident related. I told the lady I had self Harm myself and she started talking … Continue reading

October 4, 2016 · Leave a comment

Blue eyed Lorin

I just remember because I wanted to read the post that i deleted it. I deleted the pain I guess. She crosses my mind often thou. She loved pigs and … Continue reading

September 28, 2016 · Leave a comment

The game 9/27/16

  IF death is a release then I asked to be released.   and the  night is young. More to come I am sure i think update the voice have … Continue reading

September 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

help is never there.

when you reach out and no one know what to do to help you.   &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! Posted By: Michael J Granata Contact: 724-383-6008 (Google Voice) MichaelJGranata@gmail.com … Continue reading

September 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

Certification by court order that I am severely mentally ill

  MY Certification that I am mentally ill came in today. What more can I say, I am crazy / mentally ill  and in need of help that Chest Nut … Continue reading

September 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

These are my friends? – Journal 9/27/16

I guess I should not blame them for being brained washed by Jennifer Carson. Jenn is extremely multiplicative and they feel for her shit. Heck she has been in trouble … Continue reading

September 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

Early Morning Journal 9/27/16

So I went to rite aid and bought 15 dollars worth of candy and a chocolate milk. But it is not filling the hole. Not killing the pain. So i … Continue reading

September 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

Depression 9/26/16

“When you want to fool the world, tell the truth.”-Otto von Bismarck When you lose someone you thought you could trust, that you thought was a real friend you could … Continue reading

September 26, 2016 · Leave a comment

9/21/16 A new I miss you card

I have all but ran out of hope that these cards are reaching Lilly.  That her Mother Amanda Makar and her Grandmother Lori Bauer are throwing them away before Lilly … Continue reading

September 21, 2016 · 2 Comments

Went shopping :( – Journal 9/19/2016

My word of the day is Sad… My case manager went shopping with me today. She meet me at Wal-Mart and I got what I could.  But let me tell … Continue reading

September 19, 2016 · Leave a comment

Why do Dad’s have to try so hard to get what mom’s get automatically?

I had to have my attorney write and letter to my daughter’s, Lilly Makar, school so I can get information, because her mother Amanda Makar not willing to talk to … Continue reading

September 19, 2016 · 2 Comments

Ever feel out of Place – Journal 9/12/16

Every feel out of place in a place you where invited, unable to get comfortable? That ever warm “Hello” is secretly covered up and meant to be a “go away, … Continue reading

September 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Text between Amanda Makar and Michael Granata about Lilly Makar. 8/19/16 to 9/10/16

Texts between Lilly Makar ’s Mother Amanda Makar of Latrobe, Pa and myself Michael Granata of New Stanton, Pa, These texts are from the last 30 days 8/19/16 to 9/10/16. … Continue reading

September 10, 2016 · 2 Comments

I seen my Doctor today – Journal 9/9/2016

At 9:30am I seen my psych-doctor from Chestnut Ridge today.  I have now been changed from the Doctor on the TV to a new one which I like. Something about telemedicine … Continue reading

September 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

5 Years Ago Today

I have had this site in all it’s versions for as of today (9/9/2016) it has been 5 years. Wow that is a long time. And in that time there … Continue reading

September 9, 2016 · Leave a comment

Mental heath Quote 

Treat everyone you talk to nicely and with respect because you don’t know which ones are not hallucinations. – Me &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! Posted By: Michael J Granata … Continue reading

September 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

Which failure do I choose – Journal 9/8/16

I have two personal goals fighting each other. 1st goal is that I want to work and prove that I’m not so broken that I can’t contribute to society. Not … Continue reading

September 8, 2016 · Leave a comment

My solar /12v project (new)

I am finely getting around to sharing my off grid 12 volt/ solar / wind project on here. You can see some of my old projects from my past places … Continue reading

September 6, 2016 · Leave a comment

Amanda Makar ‘s Criminal charges for poisoning Lilly Makar

Amanda M Makar of Latrobe, Pa was criminally charged and plead guilty to almost killing my daughter.  The Charge that the Greensburg Troop of the Pa State Police issued was … Continue reading

September 6, 2016 · 1 Comment

Happy Labor day lilly – video

I haven’t seen my daughter since June 2016 because my ex Amanda Makar will not let me come and see her at her house in Latrobe, let me have Lilly … Continue reading

September 5, 2016 · 2 Comments

The System is letting Lilly Makar Down

How do the lies of bad parents like Amanda Makar get believed by Child Protection Agencies? My daughter Lilly Makar tells her teachers at Greater Latrobe School District, she tells … Continue reading

September 5, 2016 · 2 Comments

I bought a new Light House yesterday – video 

I was at Rite Aid in Squirrel Hill, which is the best Rite Aid I think, and seen out of the corner of my eye a medium sized (11 Inches … Continue reading

September 3, 2016 · Leave a comment

The letter to my Doctor from my Therapist. Sept 1 2016

I seen my Therapist Sarah Benson today at her office in North Versailles. Despite our difference in opinion I still think she is the best in the greater area and … Continue reading

September 1, 2016 · Leave a comment

texts between Amanda Makar and Michael Granata about Lilly Makar from early mid 2016,

Texts between Me and Lilly Makar’s Mother Amanda Makar and myself Michael Granata from early mid 2016. these have not been edited in any way. &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! … Continue reading

September 1, 2016 · Leave a comment

The date was January 19th

The date was January 19th 2013, 4 days after my birthday,  and that was the first day I meet my daughter Lilly Makar. But back to that later. Amanda Makar … Continue reading

August 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

Other Cards I have mailed to Lilly

I miss Lilly and try to show it by sending card to say hey baby girl I miss you more then anything in the worl. But I don’t know if … Continue reading

August 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

An old Journal I found

Below is an old journal I found from what looks like its from 2005 to 2009. I did not edit it at all I just copied and pasted it to … Continue reading

August 31, 2016 · Leave a comment

“Pumped Up Kicks”

Karmin – “Pumped Up Kicks” LIVE (Billboard Exclusive!)     &..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! Posted By: Michael J Granata Contact: 724-383-6008 (Google Voice) MichaelJGranata@gmail.com Express written permission is need … Continue reading

August 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

If you don’t think  anxiety is real

So I went to my PCP at Youngwood Internal Medicine (in Youngwood ) today (Friday 8/26/16). All the staff there seemed nice, it was my first visit.  And I had … Continue reading

August 27, 2016 · Leave a comment

Work on tralier over the weekend. 

I have been, and am still not done putting up “Peal n Stick” back splash style tiles. The cost has had me break this project into four sections which can … Continue reading

August 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

8/23/16 A new I miss you card

I bought some new cards to mail to Lilly Makar today while i was shopping. I will mail this one out tomorrow for her. I hope she is getting these … Continue reading

August 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Amanda Makar – Read This

Dear Amanda Makar Please feel free to try to use any thing on this site against me.  Because unlike you I don’t hide who I am from the world. I … Continue reading

August 23, 2016 · Leave a comment

Lori Bauer telling Michael Granata that he will never see Lilly Makar (Daughter) again.

This is a video recording of a voicemail left by Lori Bauer for Michael Granata (Me) on my cell phone number.  The sum of the message is that she will … Continue reading

August 11, 2016 · Leave a comment

Lilly’s 10th Birthday

I was able after not seeing my daughter, Lilly Makar , to get her so that I could throw her a birthday party. I worked my ass off so that … Continue reading

June 24, 2016 · Leave a comment

PyroFest 2016

Pyrofest 2016 was a blast!!!!!! PyroFest is an affordable community event to promote & celebrate the international art of Pyrotechnics through innovative & unique presentations. This year, PyroFest is sure … Continue reading

May 30, 2016 · Leave a comment

Shrine Circus @ Console Energy Center Weekend

I took Lilly Makar, Clyde & Shelly to the shrine circus @ console energy center on the 10th. We all had a blast and I spend tons of cash on … Continue reading

April 12, 2016 · Leave a comment

Christmas at dad’s house (2015)

Videos of my daughter, Lilly Makar, opening her Christmas Gifts.  We celebrated Christmas at my house on the 19th because I will not be able to see her again till … Continue reading

December 21, 2015 · Leave a comment

Christmas Light up Celebration

Clinton’s Christmas Light up Celebration in Clinton, Pa Cost: $10.00 per car Open: 5p to 10p Nightly A one mile drive through light display that was well worth the cost of 10 … Continue reading

December 13, 2015 · Leave a comment

My trip to Shadrack’s Christmas Wonderland

Coast 25.oo per car. Me and my daughter, Lilly,  wanted to go see Christmas lights. I google the subject and found a new one opening up in my area just … Continue reading

December 6, 2015 · Leave a comment

My Daughters 9th Birthday trip to Ohio

For Lilly’s 9th birthday we decided to take a trip instead of a birthday party.  We stayed at Maui Sands Resort & indoor waterpark in Ohio for the only reason as … Continue reading

June 30, 2015 · Leave a comment

4.5.15 – Music

For a few reason I have been into some of Angel’s songs. Why does music touch us so much?   Angel Haze – Angels and Airwaves Angel Haze – Gossip Folks … Continue reading

April 5, 2015 · Leave a comment

Do professionals care? 3/31/15

Do professionals care? Or do they wager their bets on their own needs like expenices. I had one Case Manager that cared too much, and it ended up scaring her. … Continue reading

March 31, 2015 · Leave a comment

Johnstown Incline Trip

Address: 711 Edgehill Dr, Johnstown, PA 15905 Lilly Makar, Emma, Bonnie and Myself (Michael Granata ) started out going to a park that the name escapes me, but the park … Continue reading

March 22, 2015 · Leave a comment

What do you do? 3/ 21/15

When there is no one to distract you. When what do you do? When being alive feels so wrong. What do you do? When everyone’s an enemy. What do you … Continue reading

March 21, 2015 · Leave a comment

Triggering SI Triggering (New pic 3/18/15)

 These are my new scares from my self injury they are there to the story of Lisa.  And the Loss of her only time will tell it there will be more. Because the pain is … Continue reading

March 18, 2015 · Leave a comment

Latuda / Clozaril / Venlafaxine (update / journal) 2.14.15

I just wanted to journal about the meds I am on maybe these things help others. Some big things have been going in my life so this may not be … Continue reading

March 14, 2015 · Leave a comment

Triggering caution 3/4/15

Caution pictures are graphic and may trigger some people. I have been punishing myself or self harming / self injuring myself. I have no other way to stop the people … Continue reading

March 4, 2015 · Leave a comment

Double Sided Razor (2/28/15)

I have always waned a double sided razor. Maybe just for the iconic feel of it being the cutters tool of choice. I know like most that is not true. … Continue reading

February 28, 2015 · Leave a comment

Hate the reflection in the mirror (2/25/15)

I hate myself

February 25, 2015 · Leave a comment

Thinking A Lot (2/25/15)

I have been thinking alot about GOD, me and brokenness. Religious people tell you not to question, never ask why. Because thinking i am sure is a sin. But when … Continue reading

February 25, 2015 · Leave a comment

emptiness (2/23/15)

To Feel Care For. What does this feel like? Will it be the ending of the emptiness that hurts my chest? Will it be a warm all over feeling? Will … Continue reading

February 24, 2015 · Leave a comment

Frustration (journal 2/3/15)

My frustration is in what Einstein called the definition of insanity. I do the same thing over and over and expect a different out come. I do not do this … Continue reading

February 3, 2015 · Leave a comment

Why? 10/14/14

I use to be able to say I never ask God why. But that has not been true for some time now. Recently it has been why cant I have … Continue reading

October 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

I am fraud – 10.7.14

I am working the best I can with my new position at work. The doubts are all over the place. The feeling of failure in every decision. Am I doing … Continue reading

October 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Work on trailer 7.27.2014

My daughter told me she wanted her bathroom / the guest bathroom painted purple. The pictures with the purple on the walls are the after. I am not totally done … Continue reading

July 27, 2014 · Leave a comment

Am I bad at Pancakes 7.26.14

I have read more then a few articles / postings about how to do awesome things with pancakes. I have tried to do a lot of them.  I just apparently … Continue reading

July 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Being a parent with mental health diagnosis

I am fearful of not getting things right. I am told a thousand times a day that I am not good enough to do anything I am doing at that … Continue reading

July 12, 2014 · Leave a comment

Journal ~ Eating a way to end my life.

7:37am 7/11/2014 I have gained back 5 pounds a month for the last 4 months. My highest weight was 450ponds and I went all the way down to 290 pounds. … Continue reading

July 11, 2014 · Leave a comment

Journal ~ broken, feeling of.

June 30th 2014  1:39am A mother’s family A father’s family Even a stepfather’s family And might out of all them people I have two people that gives a carp about … Continue reading

June 30, 2014 · Leave a comment

Wellbutrin XL / Latuda journal (week One)

3/16/14 2:14am – Feeling not so tired / down. Did a lot this weekend with my daughter and a friend and her kid. – so only three days into taking … Continue reading

March 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

Lilly Makar saying I love you

&..@.-#–@.-#…@.–**|\/|1|<3**—@–#.@….-#..—-@& For Viewing my blog! Posted By: Michael J Granata Contact: 724-383-6008 (Google Voice) MichaelJGranata@gmail.com Express written permission is need to use, read, or quote any part of this site … Continue reading

March 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Saphris / Latuda journal (week Three)

Even thou I am not on the Saphris right now does not mean I am not logging how I feel on the other two and that my dr might not … Continue reading

March 14, 2014 · Leave a comment

Saphris / Latuda journal (week Two)

3/1/2014 2:07am – on the 20mg now. Started it yesterday before I went to bed. I have a little more energy but I don’t know if its because I slept … Continue reading

March 7, 2014 · Leave a comment

Saphris / Latuda journal (week one)

2/22/2014: Started the Saphrigs black cherry flavor today. (I am now on Latuda 160mg, Klonopin 1mg, and Saphris 10mgs)  It tastes not so good and numbs out my tongue for … Continue reading

February 28, 2014 · Leave a comment

Journal 2.22.14

I need an outlet but I cant use this site anymore. I learned the hard way what is said here can and will be used agaist me. Posted By: Mike … Continue reading

February 22, 2014 · Leave a comment

Lilly Makar Recording a Message for me (2)

This was a recording my daughter Lilly made for me on the tablet I bought her. She did this on 01 26 2014. Posted By: Michael Granata

January 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

Lilly Recording a Message for me(1)

Lilly Makar, my daughter Recording a Message for me her dad Micahel Granata.

January 26, 2014 · Leave a comment

1/21/14 (journal)

11:36am I wish being awake was as easy as being alseep. ————- I love vegetation bacon, that being said I am making pizza for dinner. I am toping it with … Continue reading

January 21, 2014 · Leave a comment

1/16/1980 (journal)

One year older and no one cares. No well wishes 😦 No phone calls 😦 The people that asked my birthday at the hospital didn’t even say anything. I am … Continue reading

January 17, 2014 · Leave a comment

Don’t Let Anxiety Interrupt Your Progress

Procrastination and Panic Disorder Procrastination can be a common problem for many people with anxiety-related conditions, including panic disorder. There are numerous symptoms of panic disorder and common anxious personality … Continue reading

January 2, 2014 · Leave a comment

1/1/14 (journal)

1:49pm I was awake at 5 am to 6 am. Then went back to bed and got up again around noon. I ate most of a medium sized bake at … Continue reading

January 1, 2014 · Leave a comment

12/30/13 (journal)

10:24am So woke up this am at 9am then did a but load of running around and still have more. I have to go and fight with ssi people today … Continue reading

December 30, 2013 · Leave a comment

My experience with Latuda / Clozaril (12/15/2013 to 1/1/14)

I am now on both Latuda (40mg) and Clozaril (100mg) both taken at night before bed. Well I take them both about two hours before bed. Only down side I … Continue reading

December 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/29/13 (Journal)

11:57am Just awoke from my sleep. Most likely to day will be bad because of the cookies I bougnt yesterday. I need a punchimg bag or a stranger lol. Just … Continue reading

December 29, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/28/2013 (Journal)

4:02om Trying to not eat the day away. Doing some what okayish. But that might be becauee I slept till 12:30pm. I might go for a walk later. ========== 5:50pm … Continue reading

December 28, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/27/2013 (Journal)

Fighting with my over eating. About the only thing I can still talk about on here. If I don’t eat Or if I over eat I can’t stay from food … Continue reading

December 27, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/25/13 (Journal)

Made my anti christmas dinner And I slept most of the day away. woke up at 2:30pm plan on going to bed around 7pm. That is a solid plan in … Continue reading

December 25, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/23/2013 (journal)

3:43pm Feeling down or depressed. ====== 6:15pm Just have this dark fog hanging over me. I feel like a bum with mo job. And with no money I can’t do … Continue reading

December 23, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/23/13 (journal)

3:40pm Just feeling down or depressed. No engery at all. ===============Posted By: Mike GContact Email: MikesAnubis@gmail.com******************************>Go to Home Page<About Me & This Site        Mental Health Posts       Health Posts  … Continue reading

December 23, 2013 · Leave a comment

Making cookies with my daughter. (12/22/13)

She had fun sprinkling them, they where from a bag. I can’t see messi g up by trying to do them from scratch when a bag is like 1.88 each … Continue reading

December 22, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/21/13 (journal)

I have been trying to practice Mindfulness, or at least the staying in the moment thing all this weekend. Which let me tell you is easier with my daughter next … Continue reading

December 21, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/19/2013 (journal)

10:03am Got up on time to find that my temp roomates crackheaded boyfriend ate my breakfast and lunch. Did force him into giving me five bucks. So bad thing numbet … Continue reading

December 19, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/18/13 (journal)

11:23am How I feel this am. I went to bed, after taking my meds with dinner, at 8pm. I woke up With my 9:30am alarm but went back ti bed … Continue reading

December 18, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/17/13 (Journal)

1pm I am really depressed,  I slept from 10pm yesterday till about noon today. So about 14hrs ish. I feel like doing nothing, but I did over eat yesterday. 3 … Continue reading

December 17, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/16/2013 (journal)

12pm Defiantly depressed, just no engery. pushing past it the best I can but can’t help  seeing dark. I slept past my alarms but that turned out to be not … Continue reading

December 16, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/15/13 (journal)

2pm Feeling like shit after applying online for a job at wendys and they said. “Dear michael: Thank you for your interest in employment opportunities with Wendy’s.  We have reviewed … Continue reading

December 15, 2013 · Leave a comment

12/14/13 (journal)

9:30a At eat n park after picking up my daughter. I feel that med high feeling but i am pushing through it. ******** 9:50a So my daughter just starts crying … Continue reading

December 14, 2013 · Leave a comment

My meatless beef stroganoff, Hambuger helper stlye.

I made some really good beef stroganoff for dinner. I used Yves meatless, vegan it says on the  label,  beef crumble. What the Yves looks like in the pan. I … Continue reading

December 13, 2013 · Leave a comment
Advertisements