:) (> Mike's Struggle <) (:

The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com

Posible trigger ******* 12/1/13 Journal

The best thing I did today was this tine tree assoment that will be year round in my house


Tryes to think positive, tryied to cal my daughter. Said and I quetoe she didn’t want to talkto me. At 7 years old and knowing me a year she all ready knows. But atleats I got to say I love her.



Blew off stacy for her own good after she came up with reasons not to meet. I don’t know why but she tottaly lie to me about why. I hate knowing these things. I need to break that off. I don’t even know what ot is other then trouble her.

So since I can talk, and I can brun, and realy thinking about cutting, and am making am plan, I decided to stop at DQ and eat. Should I no.




I am starting to want tko die, my house of cards are falling. My life is ending. I am now again going to lose three or more days of work. The hardest part is I don’t have a sure fire way at my house.

I need to go shopping!!!

I think I have a concussion and whiplash. They are giving me more meds and hopimg it works.

Sslo see hoe fat I am
No wounder no one loves me.


I love the nurses that act like mental illness is contagious. Like if they touch me they will smoe how get it. Males me feel so much better seening this.
My room where I wait. Is seems clean but we all know. Lol

At the doctors, thoughts will not stop.
Burns hurting
Life unknown
But hated

My new burns
Taken at med express

I am trying to focus but the meds make that hard in the am. It is like my thoughts are scared all over the place. I can get stuff done but it is harder to do anything and my will to do it is being taken away.

I seem to have more thoughts of why people are here too.

I put this in one of my med journal posts and it might not be good.

Have not done a 1-5 thing in forever so lets see if i can do one know.  I am adding some.

Symptoms (1 -5 one being lowest): Voices, (4.0) | Bad thoughts, (5.0)| Feeling/Seeing bugs, (2.0) | Shadow People, (3.0) | Normal People that aren’t real, (???) | Other Visual Hallucinations, (5.0) | Knocking on walls or doors (3.0) |Cat Fred, (0) None:( Lisa (5.0)

Feeling (1-5 One being none): Down, Depressed, Or hopeless (5.0) | Little Interest or pleasure in doing things (4.0)| Trouble failing asleep or sleeping to much (1.5) | Trouble concentrating on things (4.5) | Poor appetite or wanting to/overeating or (5.0) | Thoughts you would be better off dead (10.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure (5.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure as a father (5.0)| Thought of your a screw up or failure at your jobs  (5.0)| Thought that people just wat to use you and throw you away like trash (5.0)

Nightmares (1-5 One being not bad): (1.5)

Easiness to leave the house (1-5 One being easy 5 being couldn’t) (2.5)

Am I slipping

Am I getting better

Am I just fucked up.

Is this any of this even real?

And I am listing to my burning song

Also why am I so scared of Stacy, why do I feel the uncommon need to push her away when she makes me face things. And apparently from someone else view point happy.  I disagree with the last statement.

An updated burn picture


Posted By: Mike G
Contact Email: MikesAnubis@gmail.com
About me & this Site

 My Mental Issues


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This entry was posted on December 1, 2013 by in Journal and tagged , , , , , , .
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