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The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com

I don’t know how to feel 11/22/13 (journal) updated 11/25

I figured out the issue, I trust and care about her being in my circle. (Stupid me) And what if all we have is my issues and her being my professional. What if when that leaves (being my professional) we relize there is nothing else and I lose her?

Last update 2:11pm 11/25/2013

So i am trying to be freinds with someone I knew in a professional way. I was really open and trusted her as much as i could for the position she held. Not that I would think that I could not trust her in the realy world it just may have taken lomger. Way way longer.

And now prior to this trying to be friends I had no trust issuss like I said with i will call her. And I guess I don’t realy have trust issues I just don’t know how my behavior should change. I never had a freind which I trust like I do with her and I homestly don’t know if I can call her friend. Since there was no time spend becoming friend in a tridional way. That is a point from the people in my head. But She knows so much about me but what qualifies some as a freind? Yes I am just bad at this in general.

Have I really ever had a freind before? I have people I have know for long periods of time. But do I realy call them friend?

Anyway but know my brain is flooded with thoughts of what dose she wants. Whay game is she playing? What did she see that she knew she could use in a none profisonal way or that the provisional rules stoped from happeneing.

Is this all in my head? Idk, but since she would have been the one I asked and I can even ask my therpast I don’t know what to do.

I am fucked again I think, and this was to make it easier.

Hole story not included. But is it ever lol.


11:44p 11/25/13
I expresed some of my conserns to her. I am so confused and this is not my s.o.p. I don’t trust non profisonals. That is how bad things happen. But if the past predicts the future she will not be around long which is better for her anyway.

All I feel like is to turn and run. This is so far out of my element. I have a lot of thought and the people are trying to put stuff in my head but I can’t trust.


Posted By: Mike G
About me & this Site

 My Mental Issues


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This entry was posted on November 24, 2013 by in Journal.
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