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The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com

My addiction is food – 10.11.2012

So my addiction is food, I know how stupid that sounds and laughed at the idea when it was first said it to me. But it is true. It sucks cause no one ever says you should not eat its bad for you. Or that as much as you try not to think about it you can’t do anything with out seeing it. Try to watch tv with out seeing candy or ice cream or cookie, or in mags or even on the net now there is adds everywhere. Even on this page on the left had side there is an ad for sweets. And how do you ask for help with something like this because most people just laugh if you say it, they just don’t understand. But that’s my life, even in place like this for people with problems I can be the only one that no one knows what to say to my issues. I have posted in here and other groups before and got no response before and often. Thats why I don’t post often. Anyway this addiction has gotten worse since I stopped self injuring myself, I weighted up to 447p a year ago and have done good for the last year and am down to 320p but with all the rejection and loneliness I have been eating a lot lately. And am faced with the decision of keep eating and gain more weight and cause heath issues or self injury which will not cause health issues. Something I have been thinking about a lot lately. But being fat is more acceptable then having marks all over your body. Makes me wounder how many fat people are fat because they have issues? Heck I know its not cause I am lazy I walk 3 miles a day and clean my house daily. I just eat way more calories then I can burn, I would need to on a day like today to walk 13 miles to burn off all the food I ate. I wish I had a better coping skill but I can’t and have tried hard to find something that works with the pain, hurt, loneliness, anger ect that I have inside. Talking does not work for me and I journal what I can but still does not help. I just wanted to rant so thanks for reading.


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This entry was posted on October 11, 2012 by in Journal and tagged , , , , .
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