The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com
I hurt and feel sad i have this emptiness i cant feel but try with food. I eat and eat till i am fat. Then the feelings of failure and me being pathetic set in. I hate myself even more after i eat the emptiness away even thou it does not really feel the void. Nothing can feel the void nothing can fix the pain. I am lost just hoping the end comes soon.
I think i am going to go back to cutting or getting high because its better then being fat and also numbs the pain better then food. But with this down i have been feeling lately i just dont feel like doing anything really but eat sweet things.
The night is the bad time i do fine at the day hours. Something about the dark that makes the pain worse.
I know if i could only deal with what cause the empty then i might be fixed but then again i might not be strong enough to deal with what which makes me so broken. It takes all i have just to ho from day to day living in this prison i built for myself.
Hurt pain empty lone sad cold screw up worthless fat