The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com
****Posted from another journal I wrote****
So alone, so hard
Current mood:lines are being crossed
….i feel so alone, so with out of hope. lost in the world of my owe reality. realty that they same is messed up. But is all this fighting with myself worth the title of normal. Is all the stress better then the voices. Is the scares worth the release.
Having so much more trouble with everything since I decide not to drink or smoke weed so I can get better pills to help in the fight. cause the pro love to blame stuff on the vodka, well if you where not drinking is what they say. and all i want to do is scream out if your pills did there job i would not need the vodka. I would say good by to my oldest friend, and be no more our relationship.
When will this blanket of dark life, when will the thoughts go away. I don’t like being one step away from death, but death is the only sweet relief i have left.
I understand I let myself get this way. I understand that it is me that shuts the world out, BUT THE WORLD SUCKS. PEOPLE SUCK. We lie and deceive like we breath. we hurt with no regard of that scares we are leaving. and if your different and care then your a freak, hell if your different at all your an outcast.