:) (> Mike's Struggle <) (:

The Story of Mike, My Fight For Lilly & My Defective Mind. Home Of: MichaleJGranata.com & LillyMakar.com

Sunday May 28th 2006

****Posted from another journal I wrote****

I sit here and think about what I do.  What I do and why I can’t stop.  It’s the way I am to go thought life is it what I am.  Or am I just lazy.  Why can’t I ever  trust anyone.  Everyone I meet I try to find there angle,  Why are they talking to me.  What do they want/  These questions feel my mind like an over flowing dome.  I can’t stop them.  Why do I have this? Why won’t the voices just stop.

I get drunk and high all the time, cause  it helps.  I can lose myself this way.  Like I am not me any longer.  Like I am someone normal.  Life sucks, but I just can’t do it.  I feel myself getting more and more depressed as time goes on. I am 26 and have nothing every person I know my age or yunger has a family or is starting one.  Me I am alone.  Which is better I have come to believe.  Don’t want another me in this world.

The voices are like piranhas, they won’t stop till they have blood. Add opinion where there not wanted, adding insult to injury. They just wont stop…. They just wont be still…. And they won’t shut up. The only thing that works is vodka, vodka makes the noise go away. Vodka makes the quite come.

Why wont they go away, cant they just let me be. Every day every night, always doubting,

They hate you
she uses you
they can hear us
all the money that’s all they want
your fat
they can read ur mind
they can see your problems
do it do it do it do it do it do it do it do it
she hates you
they laugh at you
she wish you where dead
kill your self
she could never love you
they all will hurt
they are tying to get you
see that everyone cant see that
there coming
they plot against you
fly throw my head like wild fire down a mountain, even more and worst things always there never leaving me alone. I just want it to stop, I just want the quite.


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This entry was posted on May 28, 2006 by in Journal and tagged .


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